Ok, so here I am a week later (actually slightly less so this is gravy time!) and I decided that I’m who I am and no hiding the secret identity. After all, I’m no superman (I’m … just an ordinary average guy.) I decided that I am not going to use names for the players in this off Broadway show that is my life. I might use names, but if I refer to them by something other than “this guy I know”, they get made up labels that amuse me. After all, this is about me, not them.
Cady is the one exception to this. Cady is my rescue dog. We’ve had her for a little over three years and at this point, a dogless life is probably something I just could not allow myself to experience ever again. Actually, Cady picked us. Well, actually Cady picked me. She seems to think that my wife was just part of the deal and she had to take the whole package. She hasn’t said as much as that, but I’m pretty sure that was her thinking.
I’ll write more about Cady later, as well as my other, earlier dog Snoopy, but I want to get back to (or maybe start on) my main thought. I’ve discovered that most of what makes me unhappy are things that cause life to become more complicated than what I’m willing to deal with. It’s not that I won’t accept that there are complicated things in life, it’s more that there are things that don’t need to be complicated but people (stupid people by my thinking) make things complicated. I will admit that sometimes I’m that stupid person, but I’m entitled. After all, it is my life isn’t it.
So, the complicated stuff I like is labeled as a challenge, like figuring out the most efficient way to get all the errands done, or how to keep the dog happy while she is waiting in the truck, and so on. The complicated stuff I don’t like is, well, just complicated. Things like keeping dad happy, figuring out how to split the check with friends, what to do with myself when I grow up, etc.. This is all the crap I’d rather just not have to address. It’s not the gritty stuff of life. It’s the crap where someone else is trying to impose their will when their position isn’t reasonable, times when peoples feelings get hurt because they have unrealistic or unreasonable expectations, times when others want you to suffer so they don’t have to (or I suppose, because they are suffering.)
By the way, in case you are wondering, the gritty stuff is dealing with things like one’s own grief, fear, anxiety, and the like.
So, I decided that in the spirit of uncomplicating this new project, I’m not hiding my name, etc. but I’m going to address the connection with others based on either (or both) whim, or how that person was (is?) making me feel. Just so you are aware dear (imaginary) reader, this means that 1) I may in fact refer to someone as an asshole since that is exactly how I was feeling about them, and 2) more than one person may be referred to by the same ‘name’. Actually, I’ll try to be more polite than that, but no guarantees.
Ok, so time to go do something more energetic than typing.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
A little about me to get started
Well, a little about myself to get started. As the title says (and the song too!), I’m just an ordinary, average guy. I’ve got a mom and a dad, a wife and a dog. No kid(s), but I keep telling my wife I need more practice before the big game and so far she’s buying it!
I’ve got a job, actually a business, that I have a love-hate relationship with and a rental that I have even more of a love-hate relationship with. I love the out-of-doors and run and ride with my dog. In spite of that, I need to loose a bit of weight. I volunteer time with local causes. I have hobbies. I hate taxes and politics but realize that both are important, necessary evils.
I decided to start a blog for two, or maybe three reasons depending on how you count them. First, I seem to have this internal dialog that is more and more present. There’s a lot of stuff that goes on there that I’d like to get down on paper (or at least in electrons) and this seems like a good way to do it. Second, I write for work. I like writing, but I rarely get to write what I want to write. I write what needs to be written, and while I like that too, I don’t get as much out of that as I do when it’s what’s on my mind. I considered trying to write some fiction (I seem to have a lot of ideas there) but again, that wouldn’t be for me. It would end up being for the readers, or some publisher and I already get well paid for writing. Third, I’m not much of a letter writer. Many family members (extended family) are letter writers and that makes me both a little envious and a little guilty. I get these great letters and somehow I never get around to sending out one of my own. I think this whole process might help me there, even if it’s just for them to come see the musings of their silly cousin/nephew/etc.
I’m telling you in advance: I know I’m not getting the punctuation correct! I’m not going to stop and check the Chicago manual of style while I’m writing. The ideas are far more important than comma placement. In some cases, it’s even on purpose. Heck, I’ll be working on the spelling more than the punctuation (god I hate seeing those little red lines….) Bug me about it and I’ll ignore you. Worse yet, if I ever get a sense of humor, I’ll make fun of you in public.
So, that’s the scoop. I decided that if I get something down once a week, that will be great. Any more often than that is gravy. I haven’t decided if I’m going to identify myself. I think I’ll want to talk about those I know and so I have to consider that maybe I need to either keep my name secret, and/or give others a code name. See, this already starts becoming about something other than my thoughts and musings. Damn!
I’ve got a job, actually a business, that I have a love-hate relationship with and a rental that I have even more of a love-hate relationship with. I love the out-of-doors and run and ride with my dog. In spite of that, I need to loose a bit of weight. I volunteer time with local causes. I have hobbies. I hate taxes and politics but realize that both are important, necessary evils.
I decided to start a blog for two, or maybe three reasons depending on how you count them. First, I seem to have this internal dialog that is more and more present. There’s a lot of stuff that goes on there that I’d like to get down on paper (or at least in electrons) and this seems like a good way to do it. Second, I write for work. I like writing, but I rarely get to write what I want to write. I write what needs to be written, and while I like that too, I don’t get as much out of that as I do when it’s what’s on my mind. I considered trying to write some fiction (I seem to have a lot of ideas there) but again, that wouldn’t be for me. It would end up being for the readers, or some publisher and I already get well paid for writing. Third, I’m not much of a letter writer. Many family members (extended family) are letter writers and that makes me both a little envious and a little guilty. I get these great letters and somehow I never get around to sending out one of my own. I think this whole process might help me there, even if it’s just for them to come see the musings of their silly cousin/nephew/etc.
I’m telling you in advance: I know I’m not getting the punctuation correct! I’m not going to stop and check the Chicago manual of style while I’m writing. The ideas are far more important than comma placement. In some cases, it’s even on purpose. Heck, I’ll be working on the spelling more than the punctuation (god I hate seeing those little red lines….) Bug me about it and I’ll ignore you. Worse yet, if I ever get a sense of humor, I’ll make fun of you in public.
So, that’s the scoop. I decided that if I get something down once a week, that will be great. Any more often than that is gravy. I haven’t decided if I’m going to identify myself. I think I’ll want to talk about those I know and so I have to consider that maybe I need to either keep my name secret, and/or give others a code name. See, this already starts becoming about something other than my thoughts and musings. Damn!
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